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Pepper spray corporation gives big thank you to anti-corporate protestors for booming quarterly profits
Officer O'Besemoron liberally spraying down nice young quiet people yeserday, again
A global pepper spray corporation was yesterday celebrating it's record profits after a boom few weeks, thanks mainly to violent and sadistic police officers across the western world.
US mace giant Foku Corp Inc. announced record $68 billion profits for it's shareholders over the last quarter. Dividend payouts of up to $235million for top executives of the firm are all thanks to record sales of it's products to fascist law enforcement officers on university campuses and cities.
The CEO of Foku Corp - William DeRothschild-DeRothschild, told us it's billionaire shareholders will be delighted when hearing that the news that their obscene, vastly unimaginable wealth is set to grow once again, at the expense of freedom of speech and the right to protest, and a few unavoidable injuries and deaths. "Fuck the hippies, I'm now worth $412 trillion. I could buy a continent! Or two! And thanks to George W I'll only pay 2% tax on it! It gives me a huge boner if I'm honest."
Retailing at nearly fifty dollars a bottle, high strength pepper spray has been used very widely recently in 'confrontations' with the general public - frequently to hose down the eyes and mouths of students who are staring at the ground in a Parker humming Bob Dylan songs. Sometimes the burning spray is blasted in the faces of 84 year old pensioners or young girls who are somewhat indignant at being repeatedly shat on by global finance and wish to complain.
Speaking from his armoured, gold-plated barge on the Thames, PM David Cameron had this to say about the popularly of pepper spray for assaulting innocent members of the public who have the audacity sit outside their university or city park for a while and muse on how fucked up things have become thanks to bankers and that.
"Well as you know I loathe seeing poverty - yes I hate seeing and having walk near unwashed hippies and the whining middle classes who have lost their homes to the big banks, pepper spray is by far the best way to put them down. Oh sorry - are you taping this? Ah. I mean it is a great tragedy for the rights of all peasa.. citizens that these brutal police tactics have be used on them without due cause. I would urge the officers in question to give themselves up, so they can feel the full force of the law."
The greasy-headed posho added, "Yes, the full force of the law in their faces, with pepper spray if necessary - available from Foku Corp at only fifty dollars a bottle. A good buy."
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